Living With A Tender Heart – Holding The Tension

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How then does a tender heart live in the world these days?

That’s a question I asked in a post about a month ago. It’s a question I continue to carry and live with. Maybe you also are carrying and living with that question.

To ask the question is to stand in and hold the tension between a tender heart and the pain and needs of the world. It’s not a choice between one or the other. It’s the tension of choosing both.

On the one hand, that means remaining tender-hearted and not letting my heart become closed, cynical, and hardened. On the other hand, it means being realistic about what is happening in our world but not letting my heart despair, give up, or naively assume everything will be okay.

To live with a tender heart in the world these days means that I am responsible to the world but I am not responsible for the world. I neither turn away from nor become possessed by the world’s pain and needs.

So back to my question. How does a tender heart live in the world today?

I don’t think there is a final and definitive answer to the question. I think there are, however, practices that can help us hold the tension between a tender heart and the pain and needs of the world. When we stand in that tension we “stand with God in God’s suffering.” (Dorothee Soelle, The Silent Cry, 152, quoting Dietrich Bonhoeffer)

That’s what I want to explore in an upcoming series of posts. Over the next several weeks I’ll offer brief reflections on the following:

  • Staying Informed;
  • Hope;
  • Prayer and Action; and
  • Success.

I’ll probably have more questions than answers. I usually do. I want us to be self-reflective about holding the tension, not strategic. 

What does all this bring up for you?

Are you holding the tension these days? How? What is helping with that?

Does it sometimes feel like the tension is tearing you apart? When have you chosen between your heart and the pain and needs of the world? Which did you choose? What happened?

How do we live wholeheartedly and at the same time guard our heart?

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Image Credit: Image generated by ChatGPT, OpenAI, April 23, 2026, https://chat.openai.com.

© Michael K. Marsh and Interrupting the Silence, 2009-2026, all rights reserved.

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13 responses to “Living With A Tender Heart – Holding The Tension”

  1. Susan Armstrong Avatar
    Susan Armstrong

    Wonderful and appreciated topic for further discussion. Always, thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights…. Blessings to you and your family. May God protect and nourish our hearts today and always.

    1. Michael K. Marsh Avatar

      Thank you Susan. I so appreciate your blessing and prayer.

      Peace be with you,
      Mike

  2. Pam Behrends Avatar
    Pam Behrends

    So true! Sometimes I feel so empathetic and wish I were not! I’m looking forward to the following thoughts of yours on the upcoming topics.

    1. Michael K. Marsh Avatar

      I too know that feeling Pam. Some days it hurts to care and other days I don’t care enough to hurt. I don’t know that I have any answers but want to see where the questions might take me.

      Peace be with you,
      Mike

  3. Lisa Bortner Avatar
    Lisa Bortner

    I think that you have to find a balance. You have to protect your heart and define boundaries while still being vulnerable and responsive to God’s call. It’s hard. Some days you will be that hard nosed boundary setter and other days you will be the teary eyed hands and feet of Jesus.

    1. Michael K. Marsh Avatar

      Yes, it’s hard and you named, at least for me, one of the difficulties – how set boundaries without disconnecting from others or closing in on myself. Thank you Lisa.

      Peace be with you,
      Mike

  4. Joey Avatar
    Joey

    This series interests me as well. I lean on and in contemplative prayer. Simply sitting in amazement and love of our God.

    1. Michael K. Marsh Avatar

      I’m with you Joey. I think this work has be grounded in a contemplative life.

      Peace be with you,
      Mike

  5. Paulette Nelson Avatar

    May God help us to have a tender heart. Thank you Father Michael.

    1. Michael K. Marsh Avatar

      Amen. Thank you Paulette.

      God’s peace be with you,
      Mike

  6. Sue Martin Avatar
    Sue Martin

    It helps me to be in community and to be able to share both hope and despair. I’m fortunate to have several different groups where I can do this. I look forward to your series.

    1. Michael K. Marsh Avatar

      Sue, your comment reminds me that “where two or three are gathered…” Yes, community is essential. We don’t get through this by ourselves.

      God’s peace be with you,
      Mike

  7. Lynn Avatar

    Such a great and thought provoking topic Mike. I look forward to the next posts. Your posts are always so nourishing and thought provoking and have helped me grow on my spiritual journey to become all that God created me to be.
    Thank you for so much inspiration. I feel so blessed by them.
    Every blessing on you.

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