In the summer of 2000 Cyndy and I moved from Corpus Christi, Texas, to Sewanee, Tennessee, for me to attend seminary. A few months before we left Cyndy asked the wife of our priest about being a clergy spouse. “What’s it like being married to the priest?” she asked. Speaking about her husband, she said, “Some days they love him. Other days they really dislike him. And sometimes it’s both in the same day. Learn to let it all go.”

That’s good advice and not unique to clergy spouses. I suspect you’ve had times when you had to deal with that too. So did Jesus and his disciples. I think that’s what we see happening in today’s gospel (Mark 6:1-13).  

Jesus returned to Nazareth and began teaching in the local synagogue. At first they loved him. He was amazing and they were astounded by what he knew, the wisdom with which he taught, the deeds of power he did. But people are fickle. Pretty soon they took offense at him. They really disliked Jesus, so much so that in Luke’s version of this story they want to throw him off a cliff. They were astounded and offended by Jesus in the same day.

It’s easy to take the reactions or comments of others and, for better or worse, turn them into conclusions and judgments about ourselves. If, however, we give others the power to define and make us we also give them the power to redefine and unmake us. I’ve done that. I suppose you have too. But that’s not what Jesus does in today’s gospel. 

The thing that strikes me about Jesus is that he doesn’t invest himself in either one of the responses. He doesn’t get hooked by their astonishment or their offense. He doesn’t inflate with one and deflate with the other. He doesn’t take it personally. He doesn’t second guess himself. And he doesn’t fight back, defend, or justify himself. He lets it all go.

What if we too could live like that? What might you need to let go of?

I wonder if that kind of detachment is why Jesus can remain true to himself regardless of where he is, who he is with, or what is going on. I wonder if that kind of detachment is why he can show up and be fully present regardless of where he is, who he is with, or what is going on. His detachment does not mean he doesn’t care or engage with what’s needed, it’s why he can care and engage.

He trusts that it’s enough to be himself. He doesn’t try to read the room, please the crowd, or meet the expectations of others. He doesn’t rise and fall with the opinions and reactions of others. He trusts that he has everything he needs. He trusts that he already is enough. He’s discovered that the substance, value, and identity of his life are within him and not in the words or actions of others. 

What if that’s true for you and me as well? What if we already have everything we need? What if we already are enough? Do you ever think of yourself in that way? Is that how you see others?

What would it be like to live like that? What new freedom would that offer? How might that empower you? What would you do that you haven’t risked doing before? 

I think that’s how we are to live. And I think that’s, at least in part, what it means to be a follower of Jesus. 

That’s why when Jesus sent out the disciples he ordered them to take no bread, no bag, and no money; but to wear a pair of sandals and to not take an extra set of clothes. He sends them out with nothing but a staff in their hand, sandals on their feet, and the clothes on their back. 

Who packs like that? Is that how you travel? 

That’s not usually how Cyndy and I roll. It often takes an hour or more to load the car. Sometimes the snacks are out before we get to the city limits. She has a clothes bag, a shoe bag, a make up bag, and sometimes a miscellaneous bag. I have a clothes bag, a book bag, sometimes a backpack, and I put my extra shoes in her shoe bag. We make sure we have the credit card and cash. 

How and what we pack probably says as much and maybe more about what’s going on within us as it does about where we are going and what we’ll do. 

I don’t think Jesus wants any of us to be in need or go without. I wonder, though, if we sometimes worry about taking enough because we are afraid we aren’t enough. I wonder if we sometimes over-invest in the comments and reactions of others because we’re just not sure who we are and, perhaps, are afraid to find out. 

I suspect that’s why Jesus tells the disciples, “No bread, no bag, no money.” He’s pushing them to face their fear of not having enough and inviting them to learn that they already have all they need. It’s why he tells them that some places will welcome and receive them and other places will not. He’s pushing and warning them to not over-invest in what others say, think, to let it go, and “shake off the dust that is on [their] feet.” He wants them to discover that they already are enough. 

Several years ago I was talking with a young woman about backpacking. At the time she was the director of Duncan Park, our diocesan camp in the mountains of Colorado and a great place for hiking and backpacking. She said you can tell what a backpacker most fears by what and how much she or he packs. 

Speaking about herself, she said, “I always way overpack food. I don’t want to be hungry or feel empty.” I thought about my backpacking and how I always carry too much water. I don’t want to be thirsty, dried out, or dehydrated. 

Shortly after our conversation I heard about a young teen who went to Duncan Park for a week long backpacking trip. He was struggling under the weight of his pack. The counselor opened it and found a large hard back volume of Harry Potter and some electronic games. I wonder if he was afraid of the wilderness, facing himself, and losing connection to what was safe and familiar. 

Food, water, books, and games aren’t simply items in a pack. They are diagnostic of what’s going on within us. They are symptoms of spiritual and emotional conditions in the same way as are the bread, bag, money, and extra set of clothes in today’s gospel. 

Take a look in your pack. What do you see? What does it tell you about yourself? What are you afraid of? What is weighing you down and wearing you out these days? And what would it be like to live lighter? 

Today’s gospel isn’t about the suitcases we carry. It’s about letting go of the baggage we carry, whether that’s stuff or the comments and reactions of others. What’s the baggage you are carrying today? And what would it be like to trust that you already have and are enough?

Take something out of your pack today and tell yourself, “I already have everything I need.” Take something else out of your pack and tell yourself, “I already am enough.”

Every time we lighten the load we become a bit more fully ourselves. We pack for trips but we unpack for life. Let’s unpack and start living. 

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Image Credit:
1. By Dosseman – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, Wikimedia Commons.
2. “Heavy bag” by kalleboo is licensed under CC BY 2.0.
3. Photo by Tristan Pineda on Unsplash.