“Amen, Amen.”

Do you remember those words from today’s first reading (Tobit 8:5-8)? A few weeks ago we talked about them and why you chose that reading for today, why that double amen attracted you. 

“Amen, Amen” is what Tobias and Sarah say at the end of their prayer. They offered their wedding night prayer. “And they both together said, ‘Amen, Amen.’”

Sometimes a single amen just isn’t enough. Sometimes the circumstances and people are in need of, deserving of, or calling for a double amen. Today is a double amen day. 

Sydney, to you, “Amen, Amen.” And to you, Wyatt, “Amen, Amen.” To your son Grif, “Amen, Amen.” To your marriage and life together, “Amen, Amen.” To the family you are today and the one you will become, “Amen, Amen.” To your future, “Amen, Amen.” To your love of one another, “Amen, Amen.” To God’s blessing and consecration of your lives and marriage, “Amen, Amen.”

Amen isn’t simply the polite churchy way of ending a prayer. Amen doesn’t mean “the end,” as if we are signing off. It’s not an ending at all. It’s a beginning and an opening to what was prayed. It means we’re signing on. It’s the start of something. It means something like, “let it be” or “so be it.” It’s your commitment, your affirmation, your yes, your first step. It’s opening yourself to the future. 

Now double that. Say amen to what you have said amen to. Commit to what you have committed to. Affirm what you have affirmed. Amen, amen. Yes, yes. Sí, sí. (Caputo, On Religion, 17) 

That’s how God lives and loves. Every time you offer a double amen you are echoing the double amen God has given and continues to give you. 

“Amen, Amen” is the only way to live, to be married, and to love. It means that nothing is held back or kept in reserve. It means you are all in. 

Don’t you want an all in kind of life, an all in kind of marriage, an all in kind of love? I think it’s what we all want for ourselves and what we want to offer each other. Anything less just won’t do. 

Wyatt, what would you think if you asked Syd, “Do you love me?” and after a long pause and considerable deliberation she says, “Well, up to a certain point, under certain conditions, to a certain extent, yes, I do”? Syd, how would you feel if you got that answer from Wyatt? (Ibid., 4)

I’m pretty sure that’s not the “I do” you want from each other. You might have a four letter word response but it wouldn’t be “Amen,” and it sure wouldn’t be “Amen, Amen.”  

There is no merit in loving moderately, up to a certain point, or just so far. Love is the measure of everything and the only measure of love is love without measure and without condition. (Ibid.)

I can’t tell you how to love like that but it is something you can learn from one another. It’s what the school of marriage teaches. I can, however, tell you this; love like that begins with your double amen and it will be sustained by your double amen. 

If you think I am trying to plant this double amen within you, you are correct. That’s exactly what I am doing. I want it to be a permanent part of your lives. I want you to carry it with you wherever you go. I want that double amen to be not only what you say but, more importantly, how you live and the way you love.

On those days when life is full, complete, and more than you ever imagined it could be; when you discover that you are “more together” than you ever thought possible (Wendell Berry); when love is strong and passionate; when life seems too good to be true; when you experience your own or the other’s beauty and holiness; when you laugh until your belly hurts and tears roll down your cheeks; when life is abundant and you are filled with gratitude — “Amen, Amen.” 

On those days when life is difficult and bumpy; when you feel lost or confused; when your feelings are hurt; when life asks more of you than you think can give; when you’re busy and missing each other; when your heart is breaking with sadness and grief; when you are scared and overwhelmed; when being married is the hardest and maybe the most painful work you’ve ever done — “Amen, Amen.”

“Amen, Amen” is what has brought you to this moment and it is what will carry you to the next. It’s the promise of more to come and a declaration that love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Your double amen is a testimony to the excess and overflowing that is in each of you and it is beautiful. It’s what we admire in you and why we want to be with you today. You show us something about ourselves. You remind and call us to live from and offer our own double amen. 

I have only one thing left to say, one thing to ask of you Sydney, of you Waytt, and of all you gathered here today. Can I get a double amen?

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Image Credit: By Owen Carter Jones, Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons (adapted).