This night always brings up a lot of stuff for me. I think it does for a lot of people. Maybe that’s one of the reasons it’s not well attended and why most do not participate in washing feet. That’s not a criticism, just a recognition that this night brings up a lot of stuff. I think that’s what we see with Peter in tonight’s gospel (John 13:1-17, 31-35).

“You will never wash my feet,” he says to Jesus. 

What do you think that’s about? I think it’s more than just Peter’s preference to not have his feet washed. I know that when I speak in absolutes with words like “never” or “always,” it’s usually not about what it looks like it’s about. There’s something else going on – with me.

I don’t know what’s going on with Peter but I’m pretty sure it’s not about his feet. I can’t tell you for sure what it is but I have some guesses. 

I’m guessing he might feel vulnerable, exposed, and uncertain. I’m guessing there are parts of himself he doesn’t want to face and deal with. I’m guessing Peter has a secret, a past that haunts him, a brokenness that terrifies him, a memory that is too painful to touch. I’m guessing Peter has some guilt, embarrassment, or shame he does’t want found out. I’m guessing Peter doubts his worthiness and whether he is enough. I’m guessing that it feels easier and less risky to just say no, push it all away, ignore it, try to forget it, and hope it all leaves him alone.  

Do you know how I came up with those guesses? That’s how I often feel about this night and what it both asks of and offers us. Maybe you feel that way too. 

Taking off our shoes and socks isn’t a big deal until it’s about more than taking off our shoes and socks – and tonight is always about more than shoes, socks, and feet.

My guess is that Peter is living with and speaking from a false truth about himself. That’s why he is so vehement in what he says. My guess is that you and I are also living with some false truths about ourselves. Let me give you some examples of what I’m talking about. 

• I know a man who says the truth about himself and what guides his life is, “Be good, be quiet, stay out of the way.” It’s an old childhood truth. Maybe there was a time when that truth was valid and served him well, but today it diminishes his life, impoverishes his marriage and relationships, and often keeps him passive. 
  
• A few weeks ago I was talking with a gentleman who is working to get his life turned around. He said his family and friends only see his past and they tell him that’s who he is and who he will always be. And then he said, “I’m trying but it’s hard. Maybe I am my past.”
  
• I know a woman who struggles with not having finished college. That has become for her a false truth of deficiency and lack of intelligence. It’s a criticizing voice that undermines her confidence and sometimes tells her, “You can’t do that. Don’t even try.”

My sense is that most of the false truths with which we live are connected to the question, “Am I enough?” Somewhere along the way we did something, somebody said something, or something was done to us, and the truth of our original beauty and goodness was wounded, lost, or called into question. You know what I’m talking about, right? 

What does tonight bring up for you? 

What truths are you living with tonight that no longer serve your life? What have you taken to be true about yourself that is diminishing and impoverishing your life? What false truths about yourself do you need to let go of tonight? 

In yesterday’s sermon I talked about the ways in which we betray the truth within us. Tonight is about reclaiming the truth within us. This is the night we take our share in the one who is the way, the truth, and the life, and begin to recover the truth of our original beauty and goodness.

It happens in the meal we share, the feet we wash, and the altar we strip. 

Come to the table. Eat and drink in remembrance of the true truth within you.

Come to the basin. Wash and be washed in the water that renews and refreshes the true truth within you.

Come to the altar. Strip your life bare of every false truth within you.

Come reclaim and confess the true truth of your life. 

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Image Credit: Jesus Washing Peter’s Feet by Ford Madox Brown, Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons.